What can Brown do for you?

I have just started to realize exactly how naive I still am. I experienced a majorly deflated ego for the first time in the last few days. Sure, I had been knocked down a couple pegs by grades or fights with friends or even just by my mother. Never before had I felt this badly over a break-up. Not that we were even really in a relationship! Which, you know, just makes it that much worse that I'm taking it to heart like this.

I think maybe the worst part about this whole thing is that it wasn't really he who broke it off with me. It was a lot more mutual than that. In fact, I could even say I might have been the one to start losing interest first. The thing is, just because you don't really like someone anymore, doesn't mean it won't hurt when they move on so quickly. It makes you really question yourself. "Are other girls really that much better than me?" and "Am I really that easy to just forget?" None of these are questions a person should ever have to ask themselves. Too bad reality has a mind of its own.

But then, I think I'm also being quite unfair to myself by having these thoughts. I'm a rational enough person to know and understand that things like this happen. People grow apart and sometimes, they find someone else very very soon. It doesn't mean there was or is anything wrong with me per say. Just that we weren't compatible. But really. Try making my heart understand that. Try making it not hurt just a little every time I think about it. Human emotions are the craziest things ever, I swear.

Somehow though... All of this made me seek solace in reading blogs... And I started reading a particular blog of a woman who sews. And really, it wasn't that different of a blog. It had a cute template, some funny stories. What it was mainly about was showing to the world all the things she had been creating over the last few years. And that kind of struck home with me. It made me think back to those days when I was just a wee bitty fifth grader, and how much I wanted to learn how to sew.

Sadly, mom doesn't know a thing about sewing, except for how to mend rips and attach buttons. So, that little interest just kind of went down the drain. But reading this blog... Seeing all the amazing things that were done on it, and how cute everything was... Well, it made me think that maybe just because I wasn't able to learn something when I was little, doesn't mean I can't try to do it now. Will I actually learn how to sew? Who knows. But what I do know is this...

It made me decide that I wasn't going to let myself shove my desires and interests to the side and onto the back burner anymore. If I want to learn or experience something new, I'm going to go for it. Because if I don't, I'm truly going to regret it later on in life.

And all of that, I think is kind of helping me through what I think I'd like to consider my first real break up (because this was one in which I was very much emotionally tied up in, even if I would pretend I wasn't at times). Because the thing is, I don't regret anything I've done. I don't think anything that happened these past few months was a mistake. And yeah, I'll be smarting over it for a while longer. But hey... It's only natural.

What's the good word?

Answer: "TO HELL WITH GEORGIA!"

Orientation in my mind has always meant the gain of knowledge about general campus life and expectations. We would get a few maps, meet a bunch of people, sign up for a couple of classes, and go on home. Who knew I would be learning this phrase and several others that would soon become a part of my daily vocabulary? Auburn says "Wareagle", Tech disses UGA. What could be better? But of course, we did do all those other things as well. So, with no further ado... (drum roll please)...

Fall 2009 Schedule

1310 General Chemistry MWF 1-2 p.m.
Lab T 7-10 p.m.
Recitation Th 6-7 p.m.
1502 Calculus II MWF 9-10 a.m.
Recitation TTh 9-10 a.m.
1101 English Composition MWF 12-1 p.m.
1000 Intro to Biomedical Engineering W 8-9 a.m.
1000 GT T 4-5 p.m.

Now, that schedule up there? Yeah, that took some major work on this (that would be me) undergraduate biomedical engineer student's part. Those FASET leaders that were supposed to be there for help? Yeah, what crap. OK, that's a lie. My leader was pretty awesome if I do admit. I don't think anyone else could have answered all of the questions about how to get around the legal drinking age ;) No, but for real, she was cool. Super bubbly and super awesome. Sadly, we got some random other person when registering, and I have no idea what this dude's name was, but he turned out to be a serious disappointment. I mean, I guess I should be fair, he did teach me how to actually sign up for classes. But yes, tons of tinkering was done and hours on the phone with Joey were spent.

And really, I think all of that has produced a fairly balanced schedule. The downtime between classes seems fairly reasonable, although I do need to figure out how to change the MWF Chemistry class from 1-2 p.m. to 2-3 p.m. In all though, looks to me like a nice course load. Tuesday used to be completely barren, but I managed to switch Chem lab from Wednesday to Tuesday. 3 hour night lab. Whoopee... Then again, being a nocturnal person, this should be my prime awake time. OK, I'm rambling, moving on.

Talk about friends galore! I don't think I met this many new and awesome people on the first day of GHP, let alone any other time in life! Countless poets have described and many a girl has had dreams of "love at first sight". I, Devi, seem to have been lucky enough to experience something even better... "friendship after first conversation". Maybe, just maybe, I am coming out of that awful shy and reclusive shell that always surrounded me. Sure, with all the trials and tribulations of high school, this shell has cracked in many a place and has had pieces fallen off in small increments. But I don't think I have ever managed to come out of it. Even now, though I felt a lot more confident and was able to make friends and chat up with random people all on my own, I think it's still more of a "me sticking my head out of one of the larger holes in the shell" type of situation. But hey. It's a start.

Two campus maps, 13 hours of credit, tons of friends, a horrible experience with the showers, a few rounds of the strangest icebreaker games, a wealth of information about how to get around rules, and a boat load of free shirts and misc. items later, I have concluded that orientation was pretty good. As well as my actual stay at Sumi's house and hanging with friends of course. But that is a story for another time.